Who am I? It's a question that we often reserve to answer. Partly because of the complexity of the mind that can't be defined by one word, but mostly comes from ignorance as we don't seek deeply enough to know the answer. Over the years one I wanted to be didn't come, and the reward of work absorbed my time/efforts taken by others, I have soaked with the question and now I can tell some of the findings that you may refer to find your answer, so I am writing this post.
It is hard to look back on a time once full of colourful dreams and to see empty boxes now without pain. Two kids in my dream were never borne as I couldn't find a man suits me. Plans to fly far from home to fill up the pride in my parents' hearts never succeeded. Expectations of mentors and friends have been torn down. However, one day I thought about what would I be if everything in my plan was achieved successfully. I might not be here writing this post to you and might not have learned some of the most valuable lessons in my life. So, every failure is a blessing in disguise because it leads us to something great that we are meant to do. Interestingly, I am with myself more peacefully than ever before after all my failures. Ironically, those failures made me walk into a very fundamental question in my life. Now, I am going nowhere and living at home on farmland to water plants, but I find content in my current life.
Looking back, many things had progressed quite differently if I saw myself as pretty ok as I think now. The worst thing in my life happened mostly during my period of retreat. An important notion for people in a hard time is to go 'ahead' no matter what. Unnecessary low self-esteem lost the direction of 'ahead' at that time and wasted a lot of time. I don't have to be the best, but it is essential not to retreat from facing myself. In the end, we came alone and will go alone. A large portion of our life is a matter of how I deal with myself instead of others.
How did I see myself differently from the way others see me? I think that's the core of solving the puzzle of love. In my case, the gap was wider than in others. And I think there is also a long tail of deviation among others. If a person is lonely, it doesn't mean that this person is not lovable. It often means that this person loves him/herself less than s/he should.
When we were kids, our parents, teachers and other adults in our lives continually helped to shape our self-image. They did this primarily through the words they spoke to us. If the words were positive and encouraging, we developed a healthy self-image. However, if the words spoken to us were negative and critical, we developed an unhealthy self-image.
The problem is that most of us grew up hearing a lot more negative than positive comments. As a result, our self-image became distorted. We began to see ourselves as unworthy, unlovable and undeserving of good things in life.
So, who am I? I am a product of my experiences, the people in my life, and the things that I have done. I am always growing and changing, and I will never be done becoming the person that I am meant to be. Think about all the skills and talents that you have and things that you have accomplished in your life. If you look at yourself objectively, you will probably see that you are good enough.
Think about all the things that you have accomplished in your life. Think about all the skills and talents that you have. The same goes for all the other negative thoughts and beliefs on the list. If you look at yourself objectively, you will probably see that they are not true.
When you start to question your negative thoughts and beliefs, you will probably find that most of them are not true. They are just distortions of the truth. Once you realize that, you can start to replace them with more accurate and positive thoughts and beliefs about yourself.
So, who am I after all? I am somebody who deserves love, happiness and all the good things that life has to offer. I am worthy of respect, admiration and appreciation. And so are you.
** As you can see, there are many different sources of who I am as a person. From my family to my hobbies, each one has played a role in shaping me into the individual I am today. I encourage you to look into each of these areas to better understand where you come from and how it has influenced who you are.**
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